Just reading over Mary's and Jesus journey and I noticed a few things, again.
This time... less about Mary, Jesus, or Elizabeth. (It's always about Jesus if you catch my drift)
John, the baby in Elizabeths womb, lept when Mary and Jesus came to visit. Before he had his first breath, John was following Jesus. His life was about telling of the coming Jesus, and without shame. He never even saw the Messiah until he was well into his adulthood! That is faithful living! No shame in HIS fame! That's why I put Chrianity Johns way on my blog title. John is a good example of how we should proclaim Him, and guys, we know Jesus. Personally. Thats more than John could say for a long time, and he still would shout, "Prepare the way, the Messiah is coming! Prophesy is being fulfilled this moment! Come on guys! This is as real as it gets!" I can just imagine that sometimes he would be so crazy with passion that he would shout it in the streets. Ive never seen a person shout about Jesus on the streets (not at road corners with megaphones) with passion except in the "pulpit". Myself included.
Seriously, where our passion lies is where we focus. Yes, I do have passion for Jesus and spreading the gospel. But I am spiritually fat with passion. Thats so gross. I am a hoarder of knowledge, stocking up for my own satisfaction. It might even be better for me to never learn a new concept or verse in the Bible and share everywhere what I know now. I know all I need to know, honestly I do. Death, victory over death, grace, mercy, love, joy, peace, patience, self-control, acceptance, holiness, grace grace grace.
Am I willing? Am I able? Am I chosen? Is this my calling? Is this The Way? Would sharing Him unconditionally be glorifying to God?
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Looking for Love
I just went through my posts examining where I have been with my tangents on life and hearts and such, and I came across the Tenth Avenue North post.
"Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough"
These questions arose: Do I look for love? Do I think God is not enough to fill my heart up? Do I embrace His love, and love Him back?
I know I long to be in love with a man. To do the whole marriage thing is on my wish list. But am I distracted by my desire? or is this a good desire? Or maybe its a good desire and im distracted.
Im fully aware of how powerful prayer is. Jesus has transformed/is in the process of transforming my heart and my mind, down to what my core desires are. And at the core of my heart, my desire is not about being wanted by a man. Its not about being needed by kids. Its not even about intimacy with a man through him knowing me inside and out and i the same.
Its about being confidant that Jesus is caring for me. And its as simple as that. Caring about me enough to use me because He knows I want Him to be proud. Caring about me enough to provide tender mercies and graces. Caring about me enough to show me HE has a plan for me to join Him in Heaven for eternity.
Those lovey dovey things arent bad by any means. But the things of this world are never what the desire of our heart is, our foundation is not built on things that will pass.
and though i said "I" and "Me" a lot in this... nothing is about me. Im nothing to this world, if i didnt exist, no one would have missed anything. Everything is so amazingly about Jesus. Even my blessings and good works are about HIM! They point to HIS goodness, not mine.
"Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough"
These questions arose: Do I look for love? Do I think God is not enough to fill my heart up? Do I embrace His love, and love Him back?
I know I long to be in love with a man. To do the whole marriage thing is on my wish list. But am I distracted by my desire? or is this a good desire? Or maybe its a good desire and im distracted.
Im fully aware of how powerful prayer is. Jesus has transformed/is in the process of transforming my heart and my mind, down to what my core desires are. And at the core of my heart, my desire is not about being wanted by a man. Its not about being needed by kids. Its not even about intimacy with a man through him knowing me inside and out and i the same.
Its about being confidant that Jesus is caring for me. And its as simple as that. Caring about me enough to use me because He knows I want Him to be proud. Caring about me enough to provide tender mercies and graces. Caring about me enough to show me HE has a plan for me to join Him in Heaven for eternity.
Those lovey dovey things arent bad by any means. But the things of this world are never what the desire of our heart is, our foundation is not built on things that will pass.
and though i said "I" and "Me" a lot in this... nothing is about me. Im nothing to this world, if i didnt exist, no one would have missed anything. Everything is so amazingly about Jesus. Even my blessings and good works are about HIM! They point to HIS goodness, not mine.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Confidence
Do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised. -Hebrews 10:35-36
Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. All you who hope in the Lord. - Psalm 31:24
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us.- Romans 8:37
He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge, His truth shall be your shield and buckler. -Psalm 91:4
As people we will struggle with confidence. For me, I go over the day in my head and think about the things I did right... or wait... were they right? And what confidence I had during the day, is gone by the time I'm able to think. I think this is one of the reasons Paul instructs us to think on heavenly things, things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. That is powerful. Christ fulfilled His promise, and He is seated at the right hand of God.
Those verses at the top are life for my heart. Reminders of who I am in Christ. The past few weeks I have felt so unworthy to have attained salvation. Even questioned my own salvation. When my thoughts focus on me ... I will undoubtedly be consumed with confusion, numbness, apathy, sadness, ect. The point of the Cross is that through the High King taking our burdens and sin upon Himself, He might be glorified.
Hmm..this word is satisfying to me. I pray we will have this satisfaction of really trusting and believing the promises of God. My soul is so weary of trying to fix my own heart.
Beautiful design, isn't it
Sunday, August 28, 2011
By Your Side- Tenth Avenue North
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go
I never really paid attention to this song by Tenth Avenue North until the youth band at my church sang it. It was all about Jesus... less about the music. Wow. Made me cry. ("Touched me...right here." -Said that to the guys and they made fun of me after that so had to put it in here! )
But really.. I try to earn grace. I try so very hard to be the best this or that. And those things I strive for are mostly good things! I do want to please Jesus. Its so important to me. So important. But if i'm honest... "even my repentance needs to be washed in the blood of Jesus." If my best and most 'amazing' gifts to Him have any motive at all of self seeking.. then its all dirt. All of it.
But His grace covers just that, yall. He is NEVER letting us go. God, im tired of striving. Not really sure exactly how to stop... but giving Him the first word of every day will lead me. As will the Holy Spirit.
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go
I never really paid attention to this song by Tenth Avenue North until the youth band at my church sang it. It was all about Jesus... less about the music. Wow. Made me cry. ("Touched me...right here." -Said that to the guys and they made fun of me after that so had to put it in here! )
But really.. I try to earn grace. I try so very hard to be the best this or that. And those things I strive for are mostly good things! I do want to please Jesus. Its so important to me. So important. But if i'm honest... "even my repentance needs to be washed in the blood of Jesus." If my best and most 'amazing' gifts to Him have any motive at all of self seeking.. then its all dirt. All of it.
But His grace covers just that, yall. He is NEVER letting us go. God, im tired of striving. Not really sure exactly how to stop... but giving Him the first word of every day will lead me. As will the Holy Spirit.
'My body, My soul longs for You, Jesus'
What does it mean to long for God with our body? David expresses a deep desire, an anguish of the body, in seeking for God's honey of the heart, in psalm 63.
O God, You are my God,
earnestly I seek You;
my soul thirsts for You,
my body longs for You,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen You in the sanctuary
and beheld Your power and Your
glory.
Because Your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify You.
I will praise You as long as I live,
and in Your name I will lift up my
hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the
richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will
praise You.
On my bed I remember you;
I think of You through the watches
of the night.
Because You are my help.
I sing in the shadow of Your wings.
My soul clings to You;
your right hand upholds me.
I don't exactly know the ins and outs of this passage.
But I know Jesus aches my heart for Him. This is good. This discomfort pushes me forward... I never thought I would pray for more..more discomfort.
O God, You are my God,
earnestly I seek You;
my soul thirsts for You,
my body longs for You,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen You in the sanctuary
and beheld Your power and Your
glory.
Because Your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify You.
I will praise You as long as I live,
and in Your name I will lift up my
hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the
richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will
praise You.
On my bed I remember you;
I think of You through the watches
of the night.
Because You are my help.
I sing in the shadow of Your wings.
My soul clings to You;
your right hand upholds me.
I don't exactly know the ins and outs of this passage.
But I know Jesus aches my heart for Him. This is good. This discomfort pushes me forward... I never thought I would pray for more..more discomfort.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
My Family
Here is what drives me the most crazy, makes me the most nervous, gets me the most upset, drives my temper up the wall, but here is what i love, what my heart is devoted to, and here are the people who are my people. Glad to know them :)
This is my mother. We are so alike its un-real.
We both love books, flowers, dissecting issues, old-time movies and hate movie trailers.
Hokay. This is daddy with a shaved face (only picture of him w/o a beard since I was born).
He looks weird! But he is wise, loves to golf, and is OBSESSED with the Georgia Bulldogs.
My sisser. She is the sweetest, funniest, and craziest. She is willing to try my patience,
and willing to take my temper too. I love her, and appreciate who she is.
This is me and Clifford. or Cwifford. or Ford. or precious baby, baby boy, sweet boy.
Needless to say, I have lots of pet names for my pet.
My sisser and I on christmas. Thats arnold, the Teddy I made her so she could remember me all the time :) Arnold because he has a football head.
This is Clifford in his favorite outfit. (and only outfit).
He gets mad when we try to take it off.
He is THAT dog. We are NOT that family.
Okay.. maybe we are.
This is my cousin James wearing my lobster boxers. We had to change into comfy and dry clothes after playing in the ice that christmas.
This is my Big Daddy. He is married to Granna Lee and they are the sweetest and love so well.
Big daddy always wears overalls. Maybe 1 time a year he doesnt. Love it.
Sami and Daddy cheesin it
This picture of my Mom and Daddy reminds me of James Bond. They look so serious. At least mom does...Daddy doesn't have a serious bone in his body.
This is me and my cousin Sidney eating yummy chocolate balls! She is so goofy!
After graduation, or something for graduation. Sami, Me, and My amazing cousin Taylor. LOVE her.
This is my Grandma. She lives next door and I absolutely love her style. She has a million flowered hats.
She accompanied me while I jumped out of an air plane.
My Tay! I cannot tell you how much I adore her!
So this is some of my family... we love each other and put up with each other. And through everything thats happened with us, were a hard bunch to separate!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Bad Things
Today I went to the UCC cafe at UWG for lunch by myself. As company I read my Bible, for it is wise to know the one you love more deeply every day.
As I was reading and eating my chef salad (which by the way, salads are a very awkward food to eat by yourself...maybe because of the mess factor) a guy walked by and said "I don't know many people who read the Bible.. are you reading for fun?'
Okay, this seemed easy enough. He didn't join me, however He did stand close by, I think he was in a hurry.
I said, "Yes I am reading for fun." However, after much debate in my heart on whether or not reading the Bible is actually fun this was my conclusion....(much after the guy had left) ... Reading the Bible is equivalent to eating. Sometimes eating can be fun, like when consuming silly foods, daddy's delectable steaks, or forbidden candy you are only allowed to have during halloween. But mostly, eating is done to sustain life. A sandwich, fiber/protein bar , Chick-fi-la on the run, salad... non of these necessarily fun but necessary. The Bible is our food, some stories are exciting and passion inspiring, but we read to learn and grow and sustain our soul in rightness with God.
He went on to say he read Genesis through Exodus but became bored and sad because it was all mean (still seeming to be in a rush). I'm nodding and listening to hear what else he might offer as a conversation (not conversion) sustainer. I just wanted to talk and hear his side. He said "especially Job.. thats just mean! God seems to be very mean!
This is where I said God allowed the devil to make Job suffer, God was testing Job's faith in Him and in return (after Job did not sin against God) God got the glory, God getting the glory is the purpose behind Job and the rest of the Bible.
Doesn't that sound right? Partially it is. The point behind everything is for God to get the glory. However, we cannot only pin the bad things on the Devil and the good things on God... everything that happens in this world is in God's hands.
A side note in my Bible says it better " God is not in charge of only the good things that happen, impotently observing as bad things happen, but He is sovereignly in control of all things, good and bad. He permits His children to endure testing. One who only accepts the good from God's hands risks rejecting Him completely when things do not work out as desired. Such a limited acceptance of God's wisdom is foolish."
Job 2:10 states the same. " But he said to her, 'You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?' In all this Job did not sin with his lips."
This brings me to say that , as of now, this is as far as my understanding of why bad things happen in this world goes. Im not suggesting you don't study the Bible and everything else for valid reasons, but when you do search, don't search for what makes you feel good about the world. There are more important things than YOU in this world. We can glorify God by accepting who He is, and being open to Him revealing Himself to us.
As I was reading and eating my chef salad (which by the way, salads are a very awkward food to eat by yourself...maybe because of the mess factor) a guy walked by and said "I don't know many people who read the Bible.. are you reading for fun?'
Okay, this seemed easy enough. He didn't join me, however He did stand close by, I think he was in a hurry.
I said, "Yes I am reading for fun." However, after much debate in my heart on whether or not reading the Bible is actually fun this was my conclusion....(much after the guy had left) ... Reading the Bible is equivalent to eating. Sometimes eating can be fun, like when consuming silly foods, daddy's delectable steaks, or forbidden candy you are only allowed to have during halloween. But mostly, eating is done to sustain life. A sandwich, fiber/protein bar , Chick-fi-la on the run, salad... non of these necessarily fun but necessary. The Bible is our food, some stories are exciting and passion inspiring, but we read to learn and grow and sustain our soul in rightness with God.
He went on to say he read Genesis through Exodus but became bored and sad because it was all mean (still seeming to be in a rush). I'm nodding and listening to hear what else he might offer as a conversation (not conversion) sustainer. I just wanted to talk and hear his side. He said "especially Job.. thats just mean! God seems to be very mean!
This is where I said God allowed the devil to make Job suffer, God was testing Job's faith in Him and in return (after Job did not sin against God) God got the glory, God getting the glory is the purpose behind Job and the rest of the Bible.
Doesn't that sound right? Partially it is. The point behind everything is for God to get the glory. However, we cannot only pin the bad things on the Devil and the good things on God... everything that happens in this world is in God's hands.
A side note in my Bible says it better " God is not in charge of only the good things that happen, impotently observing as bad things happen, but He is sovereignly in control of all things, good and bad. He permits His children to endure testing. One who only accepts the good from God's hands risks rejecting Him completely when things do not work out as desired. Such a limited acceptance of God's wisdom is foolish."
Job 2:10 states the same. " But he said to her, 'You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?' In all this Job did not sin with his lips."
This brings me to say that , as of now, this is as far as my understanding of why bad things happen in this world goes. Im not suggesting you don't study the Bible and everything else for valid reasons, but when you do search, don't search for what makes you feel good about the world. There are more important things than YOU in this world. We can glorify God by accepting who He is, and being open to Him revealing Himself to us.
Falling in Love with Jesus...
Mmmmmm... to fall in love. To be someone's beloved, not just Jesus'....
Those thoughts of ours are sweet, but blasphemous. To desire anything over Jesus is to whore for the world. (Judges 2:17 -They whored after other gods)
So God wants to be our everything. That includes 'husband' so to speak. In a way that He becomes our obsessive thought during our 'courting' or times we pursue Him back, for He is constantly pursuing us.
How can I allow Jesus to fulfill my relational needs by Himself? with Himself?
I want to be loved. - "...I have loved you with an everlasting love..." (Jer. 31:3)
I want someone to adore me. - The King has brought me into His chambers to adore me. My love is outstanding among 10,000 (see Song 1:4, 5:10) .
I want someone to hold my hand. - "...I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" (Is. 41:10)
I want to be accepted and valued. - I am accepted in the Beloved. (see Eph. 1:6)
I want help in my days of trouble. - "Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you..." (Psalm 50:15)
I want a champion of my causes--one who is willing to fight for me. - "The Lord will fight for you..." (Ex. 14:14)
I want intimacy. - The Lord is intimate with the upright. (see Psalm 140:13)
I want someone to help me in my life. - There is no one like God who rides the heavens to help you. (see Deut. 33:26)
I don't necessarily think I'm supposed to "date" Jesus.... but I do believe that He is more than enough to fulfill what I THINK a man is needed to fulfill. Obviously, there is no need I have that Jesus can not more than satisfy. Jesus is more than sufficient to provide for our relational needs.
Studying how Jesus wants to be my everything has made me very conscious of how easily I've taken my heart and given it so easily to others; friends and boys alike. God is a jealous God, I forget. How many times have I looked forward to a date, text, or hangout OVER God. Not that those are bad things, but the way I gave them attention when I did not give The Word a respectful or obsessive amount of time is sinful. (obsessive because thats how I become with relationships...I get too girly) My daddy once instructed me to spend more time in the Bible than I did in any other one thing. I would read a book a day and give Jesus the attention I would give a TV commercial. Proportionately blasphemous. So now, its still hard to give Jesus Word more time than a good fiction. So they've been set aside for the time being. (Jesus did that for me, the books I ordered have taken a ridiculously long time to come in.)
Norah Jones song, "The Nearness of You", is a near perfect explanation to how I feel about Jesus sometimes. Have a listen. (Mind you, its a little loosely represented)
"I need no soft lights to enchant me, (no romances), if You only grant me the right to hold You ever so tight."
Those thoughts of ours are sweet, but blasphemous. To desire anything over Jesus is to whore for the world. (Judges 2:17 -They whored after other gods)
So God wants to be our everything. That includes 'husband' so to speak. In a way that He becomes our obsessive thought during our 'courting' or times we pursue Him back, for He is constantly pursuing us.
How can I allow Jesus to fulfill my relational needs by Himself? with Himself?
I want to be loved. - "...I have loved you with an everlasting love..." (Jer. 31:3)
I want someone to adore me. - The King has brought me into His chambers to adore me. My love is outstanding among 10,000 (see Song 1:4, 5:10) .
I want someone to hold my hand. - "...I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" (Is. 41:10)
I want to be accepted and valued. - I am accepted in the Beloved. (see Eph. 1:6)
I want help in my days of trouble. - "Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you..." (Psalm 50:15)
I want a champion of my causes--one who is willing to fight for me. - "The Lord will fight for you..." (Ex. 14:14)
I want intimacy. - The Lord is intimate with the upright. (see Psalm 140:13)
I want someone to help me in my life. - There is no one like God who rides the heavens to help you. (see Deut. 33:26)
I don't necessarily think I'm supposed to "date" Jesus.... but I do believe that He is more than enough to fulfill what I THINK a man is needed to fulfill. Obviously, there is no need I have that Jesus can not more than satisfy. Jesus is more than sufficient to provide for our relational needs.
Studying how Jesus wants to be my everything has made me very conscious of how easily I've taken my heart and given it so easily to others; friends and boys alike. God is a jealous God, I forget. How many times have I looked forward to a date, text, or hangout OVER God. Not that those are bad things, but the way I gave them attention when I did not give The Word a respectful or obsessive amount of time is sinful. (obsessive because thats how I become with relationships...I get too girly) My daddy once instructed me to spend more time in the Bible than I did in any other one thing. I would read a book a day and give Jesus the attention I would give a TV commercial. Proportionately blasphemous. So now, its still hard to give Jesus Word more time than a good fiction. So they've been set aside for the time being. (Jesus did that for me, the books I ordered have taken a ridiculously long time to come in.)
Norah Jones song, "The Nearness of You", is a near perfect explanation to how I feel about Jesus sometimes. Have a listen. (Mind you, its a little loosely represented)
"I need no soft lights to enchant me, (no romances), if You only grant me the right to hold You ever so tight."
Sunday, July 31, 2011
How can you hear?
How can you hear with your ears closed?
How can you see without open eyes?
You don't even know where I'm from
But you sure had me crucified
If you listen with your heart now,
Your rhymes and all your reasons change so much
I don't even know you...
As if that makes a difference
Everybody's got something to get over now
Your bleeding comes from deep inside
Well, don't throw away your chance to be whole again
It's not over now
Can you feel the vibrations
stirring through your heartstream now?
You're in a bad situation,
But I know you can make it out
If you listen with your heart now,
Your rhymes and all your reasons turn to dust
I don't need to know you
To know it makes a difference
Everybody's got something to get over now
Your bleeding comes from deep inside
Well, don't throw away your chance to be whole again
It's not over now
Have you ever seen the light?
It's waiting for you
Have you felt that things aren't right?
It's waiting for you
Don't throw away your chance to wake
Everybody's got something to get over now
Your bleeding comes from deep inside
Well, don't throw away your chance to be whole again
It's not over now
How can you hear- by Jason Harwell
I said, show me Your truth Jesus, and He showed me this song.
How can you see without open eyes?
You don't even know where I'm from
But you sure had me crucified
If you listen with your heart now,
Your rhymes and all your reasons change so much
I don't even know you...
As if that makes a difference
Everybody's got something to get over now
Your bleeding comes from deep inside
Well, don't throw away your chance to be whole again
It's not over now
Can you feel the vibrations
stirring through your heartstream now?
You're in a bad situation,
But I know you can make it out
If you listen with your heart now,
Your rhymes and all your reasons turn to dust
I don't need to know you
To know it makes a difference
Everybody's got something to get over now
Your bleeding comes from deep inside
Well, don't throw away your chance to be whole again
It's not over now
Have you ever seen the light?
It's waiting for you
Have you felt that things aren't right?
It's waiting for you
Don't throw away your chance to wake
Everybody's got something to get over now
Your bleeding comes from deep inside
Well, don't throw away your chance to be whole again
It's not over now
How can you hear- by Jason Harwell
I said, show me Your truth Jesus, and He showed me this song.
Negative feelings with a negative outlook
Lift my fears, fall to my knees. I am able to be discouraged after all Jesus has shown me.. after all the testimonies I've heard. Just reminding myself, as well as hopefully reminding you, that all we need is Jesus. All. The more I pray it the more real it will become. Hah I tell so many of the youth I help lead that Jesus does not expect perfection after salvation. or Salvation does not equal perfection but a promise for the Holy Spirit make us the truest form of us.. Salvation is Jesus saying, "All of Heaven its time to celebrate! This Beloved is MINE! WhooHoo! I'm never letting go!" as He continues His work in our lives.
"So hold on my darlin', its goin' to be bumpy. So buckle in tightly..."
"So hold on my darlin', its goin' to be bumpy. So buckle in tightly..."
Thursday, July 28, 2011
I don't have anything to prove.
When you think "my identity..", who do you say you are? or Who do you want to be?
Is all this seeking who we are , us trying to prove something?
This question seems so hard to answer to me so it got me thinking...
What is the core of these questions, "What is my identity?" or "Who am I?". Okay so maybe we should ask, "What does an Identity consist of?" Is it something able to be labled? Such as popular, nerd, athletic, artistic, musical, dramatic, ugly, pretty, crazy, reserved, black, white, gay, straight, christian, or muslim? Are one of those lables what people see when they look at us? Are those lables what we think of ourselves? Do these things proclaim why we exist? (maybe thats the real question..."What am I doing here?")
None of those things tell anyone who you are. They all talk about things you believe about yourself or do. Not that they are all bad things. Like I am indeed a christian. But is that my identity? Is who I am really found in something I believe?
Hard questions. Because when we talk about this we get so close to the Truth!
We want to be known. Yeah, you're scared of someone knowing the deepest scariest places in your heart.. But guess what you're asking when you ask about your identity. You want someone to recognize WHO you are. Not what you do. Not what you look like . Not what you like. (Don't even get me started that all these things will pass away!)
You want someone to know the deepest parts of you. The good and great parts, the evil desires, the beautiful desires, and still want to know you. To strip down everything we consider our identity and see the core of why we exist. I don't know that we can find our 'identity' in any word. I do believe, however, that we can find freedom from trying to be someone, and let Jesus break through our walls and let Him stand there as our stronghold.
I've found my identity in many things before. Some good to the worlds standards, even some bad to the worlds standards. I have never been filled before allowing Jesus to BE for me.
Look guys, I know you all know something about me. If you've known me lately you might even say I'm a pretty good girl. Please, don't flatter me. "Pretty good girl" is not my identity.
Identity isn't what we long for. We long to be known and loved.
Maybe we were never meant to search for who we are. Maybe we just are.
Just maybe we don't have to prove anything.
Maybe we don't have anything to prove...
Just maybe Jesus really is who He says He is.
"For the death that He died, He died to sin once and for all; but the life that He lives to God. Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus."
Romans 6:10-11
Is all this seeking who we are , us trying to prove something?
This question seems so hard to answer to me so it got me thinking...
What is the core of these questions, "What is my identity?" or "Who am I?". Okay so maybe we should ask, "What does an Identity consist of?" Is it something able to be labled? Such as popular, nerd, athletic, artistic, musical, dramatic, ugly, pretty, crazy, reserved, black, white, gay, straight, christian, or muslim? Are one of those lables what people see when they look at us? Are those lables what we think of ourselves? Do these things proclaim why we exist? (maybe thats the real question..."What am I doing here?")
None of those things tell anyone who you are. They all talk about things you believe about yourself or do. Not that they are all bad things. Like I am indeed a christian. But is that my identity? Is who I am really found in something I believe?
Hard questions. Because when we talk about this we get so close to the Truth!
We want to be known. Yeah, you're scared of someone knowing the deepest scariest places in your heart.. But guess what you're asking when you ask about your identity. You want someone to recognize WHO you are. Not what you do. Not what you look like . Not what you like. (Don't even get me started that all these things will pass away!)
You want someone to know the deepest parts of you. The good and great parts, the evil desires, the beautiful desires, and still want to know you. To strip down everything we consider our identity and see the core of why we exist. I don't know that we can find our 'identity' in any word. I do believe, however, that we can find freedom from trying to be someone, and let Jesus break through our walls and let Him stand there as our stronghold.
I've found my identity in many things before. Some good to the worlds standards, even some bad to the worlds standards. I have never been filled before allowing Jesus to BE for me.
Look guys, I know you all know something about me. If you've known me lately you might even say I'm a pretty good girl. Please, don't flatter me. "Pretty good girl" is not my identity.
Identity isn't what we long for. We long to be known and loved.
Maybe we were never meant to search for who we are. Maybe we just are.
Just maybe we don't have to prove anything.
Maybe we don't have anything to prove...
Just maybe Jesus really is who He says He is.
"For the death that He died, He died to sin once and for all; but the life that He lives to God. Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus."
Romans 6:10-11
Be still...
Being still is a foreign concept to me.
I cant count on two hands the things that have gone wrong the last few weeks, yet God is asking me to be still? What!?
I have a million and two things to do before school starts. How can I be still and wait? wait for what?? for these things that "keep my life running" to complete themselves?
I hear "Get it done whatever the cost. Excel. Be the best you, you can be. Be strong. You can do it. "
'Be still my child, your toils are not necessary. Here, let me carry that heavy class load for you. Yes, Casey, give me your transportation to college, I will provide. Ask me for patience with Sami, I will supply you with what I demand. You're upset about things that are not everlasting, sweet child of mine, I AM. You have stumbled and while carrying your own heart. Focus on Me. Give Me every thing. Youre anchored in Me."
Im anchored in love divine! His love shall control me in life and in death.
-Anchored in love by Jenny and Tyler.
Carry Me- Jenny and Tyler
I cant count on two hands the things that have gone wrong the last few weeks, yet God is asking me to be still? What!?
I have a million and two things to do before school starts. How can I be still and wait? wait for what?? for these things that "keep my life running" to complete themselves?
I hear "Get it done whatever the cost. Excel. Be the best you, you can be. Be strong. You can do it. "
'Be still my child, your toils are not necessary. Here, let me carry that heavy class load for you. Yes, Casey, give me your transportation to college, I will provide. Ask me for patience with Sami, I will supply you with what I demand. You're upset about things that are not everlasting, sweet child of mine, I AM. You have stumbled and while carrying your own heart. Focus on Me. Give Me every thing. Youre anchored in Me."
Im anchored in love divine! His love shall control me in life and in death.
-Anchored in love by Jenny and Tyler.
Carry Me- Jenny and Tyler
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Jesus is THE Truth.
Okay.. so we all know Stumbleupon is a big way to waste our time.. though I found a site on Contradictions in the Bible. This was very interesting to me. I believe if there is no Jesus then we are wasting our time. (Though don't get me wrong, undoubtably there is.) I also believe God will come out as the Truth if indeed He is, so I seek truth. The site posted numerous contradictions, giving a phrase then verses to dispute. [[ I would like to note that in order to be a contradiction, someone must deny the truth of one statement and proclaim the opposite. That will never be seen in scripture, for God cannot deny Truth, therefore He cannot deny Himself. ]] Here are some fabulous examples:
1. How many men did the chief of David's captains kill? 2 Sam 23:8 - 1 Chron 11:11
Contradiction? Nah.. look it up for yourself. I laughed.. different number of men killed yes, also different chief.
2. Who was Abijam's mother? (nevermind that I dont know who Abijam is.. ill study him later.) 1 Kings 15:1-2-2 Chron 13:1-2
Misspelling. Its Machaah vs Michaiah. You decide if this is enough to claim God does not exist.
3. Was Abraham justified by faith or works? Romans 4:2-James 2:21
Contradiction? Purely vs by vs, yes. Paul is so fun to study to me because he is sarcastic...
The contradiction is disproven by simply reading one sentence further. God has always saved by Faith btw... He never changes, guys.
4. What color was Jesus' robe? Mat 27:28- Mark 15:17.
Error? Yes. Purple vs. Scarlett. Good thing the big saying today is "Nobody's perfect!" or "I'm only human!" Yeah guys, believe it or not, the authors were human. Seeing as the contradiction is not on whether Jesus died or not, or whether He rose from the grave, I think we're still standing on rock solid ground.
5. Is it good to be happy? Proverbs 17:22 - Ecc. 7:3-4.
Contradiction? No. Words of wisdom appeal to certain circumstances.
Many "contradictions" are considered so because :
o The reader compares one verse to another without continuing the authors' thought.
o The author misspelled a name, place.
o Intellectual dishonesty.
o Comparing the Old covenant to the New covenant. (Rules have indeed changed, thanks to Jesus, the ultimate sacrifice.)
o Authors compared have different details. (purple vs. scarlette, # 4)
o The question asked is very one sided. (#5)
I could go further, and undoubtably will. I will continue to seek to disprove my God because He always has, and always will come out on the side of Truth.
Also, be left with this: seek truth! It is important, and very interesting actually, also if you seek truth and are honest with yourself, you will always end up on the right side. I'm seeking truth, even yet, as I have found Him. If you find that you have disproven my God, please don't leave me in the blue.
Thanks for reading,
Casey
1. How many men did the chief of David's captains kill? 2 Sam 23:8 - 1 Chron 11:11
Contradiction? Nah.. look it up for yourself. I laughed.. different number of men killed yes, also different chief.
2. Who was Abijam's mother? (nevermind that I dont know who Abijam is.. ill study him later.) 1 Kings 15:1-2-2 Chron 13:1-2
Misspelling. Its Machaah vs Michaiah. You decide if this is enough to claim God does not exist.
3. Was Abraham justified by faith or works? Romans 4:2-James 2:21
Contradiction? Purely vs by vs, yes. Paul is so fun to study to me because he is sarcastic...
The contradiction is disproven by simply reading one sentence further. God has always saved by Faith btw... He never changes, guys.
4. What color was Jesus' robe? Mat 27:28- Mark 15:17.
Error? Yes. Purple vs. Scarlett. Good thing the big saying today is "Nobody's perfect!" or "I'm only human!" Yeah guys, believe it or not, the authors were human. Seeing as the contradiction is not on whether Jesus died or not, or whether He rose from the grave, I think we're still standing on rock solid ground.
5. Is it good to be happy? Proverbs 17:22 - Ecc. 7:3-4.
Contradiction? No. Words of wisdom appeal to certain circumstances.
Many "contradictions" are considered so because :
o The reader compares one verse to another without continuing the authors' thought.
o The author misspelled a name, place.
o Intellectual dishonesty.
o Comparing the Old covenant to the New covenant. (Rules have indeed changed, thanks to Jesus, the ultimate sacrifice.)
o Authors compared have different details. (purple vs. scarlette, # 4)
o The question asked is very one sided. (#5)
I could go further, and undoubtably will. I will continue to seek to disprove my God because He always has, and always will come out on the side of Truth.
Also, be left with this: seek truth! It is important, and very interesting actually, also if you seek truth and are honest with yourself, you will always end up on the right side. I'm seeking truth, even yet, as I have found Him. If you find that you have disproven my God, please don't leave me in the blue.
Thanks for reading,
Casey
Thursday, April 7, 2011
God has always been faithful
How many times must God prove His faithfulness to us before we bank on Him? I do not always trust the Lord, as absurd as that is!
He is not always the first thought I have in the morning. This means I don't rely on His power throughout my day. Is that crazy or what? I have His words.. his very words at my fingertips. and I chose to shower, eat, or whatever before I let Him feed me. *Hits head on wall.
Sometimes I ask for a sign.. "Is this the right ___ ?" How many signs must I need to understand that God has got it figured out! I don't need to know exactly how everything is going to go down.
The LORD has given so many signs in the Bible of His providence, His love, His devotion, His faithfulness, His mercy, His grace, His care to detail, His power... just to name a few.
Not to mention it isn't even about us.. its all about Him and His glory! Yet He is big enough to care about our daily lives and works intimately with us!
"You are she who is not, I am He who is."
God is the glory of the universe! Dance in your freedom today! Dig into his word and refresh your hearts and mind, cleanse and renew your joy!
It is enough that He has proven Himself to us, to our very core, and through His word.
He is not always the first thought I have in the morning. This means I don't rely on His power throughout my day. Is that crazy or what? I have His words.. his very words at my fingertips. and I chose to shower, eat, or whatever before I let Him feed me. *Hits head on wall.
Sometimes I ask for a sign.. "Is this the right ___ ?" How many signs must I need to understand that God has got it figured out! I don't need to know exactly how everything is going to go down.
The LORD has given so many signs in the Bible of His providence, His love, His devotion, His faithfulness, His mercy, His grace, His care to detail, His power... just to name a few.
Not to mention it isn't even about us.. its all about Him and His glory! Yet He is big enough to care about our daily lives and works intimately with us!
"You are she who is not, I am He who is."
God is the glory of the universe! Dance in your freedom today! Dig into his word and refresh your hearts and mind, cleanse and renew your joy!
It is enough that He has proven Himself to us, to our very core, and through His word.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Edify
We are to edify and lift up others. (1 Corinthians 10:32-33)
To edify is to instruct or improve someone morally or intellectually.
The past two years I have been wrestling with the fact that all things are lawful for me. Where do I draw the line of things I wont do? What is my reasoning for drawing that line?
I have friends who run hard and fast away from the Lord, and I think what if I do drugs with them? drink with them? The offer had been presented many times. Had been presented. Turns out, the people who persisted in pressuring me to to join them in drinking or drugs were trying to get me to fall, to sin.
Three questions rise up for me:
Firstly I think, what kind of friends do I really have here?
Second I think why do they want me to fall?
And what If I had joined them?
Pertaining to the first question, these friends are lost. Their actions are just a bi-product of intense searching, self-fullfilling, and yes.. desiring of intimacy with Jesus. Those who know not the Love of Jesus may not consider the endless filling of holes in their life to be a search for Jesus, but indirectly, it will show them that nothing but Jesus can truly save and heal and bring the joys of the Christian Way.
Why would they want me to fall?? These friends are just longing for an even playing field. Their act of hatred was not directed towards me, rather to The Way in general. If I fall, they might not feel as bad "committing the crime", it would be some sort of justification.
What if I had joined them??
I may just have justified their actions. " If Casey the Christian can do it, surely I can."
Or I may have just accidentally proclaimed "The LORD Jesus does not mean as much as I say to me, therefore don't bother getting to know Him."
Possibly I just ripped any hope from them, they already do not believe or know Jesus, everything I do is supposed to point to Him. I am supposed to be the Messenger bringing love and JESUS with me wherever I go. If I do something that hinders this love, where is my true devotion? Even if its just a possibility, the chance is too high of a price.
So now, where do we draw the lines and why?
If you are possibly stripping hope from someones life, do not live dangerously.
Do not do anything to cause anyone else to stumble. If you (who are of age) drink, yet someone else forbids that of them self for reason of it being sin against God, then don't drink. Who after all is your God? Not yourself and not the alcohol!
Consider others ways more righteous than your own, those who abstain from things, and do everything to edify them.
Your liberty (being able to do whatever you want, as a christian) is not affected by another persons conscience. But because of our command to live in love and esteem others higher than ourselves, we must not do things to serve them.
Love and NOT knowledge is the basis of christian conduct.
and Note from my Bible pertaining to 1 Corinthians 6:12
"All things are lawful for me was the theological slogan the Corinthians had adopted to justify their behavior, Paul affirmed his own doctrine of Christian liberty. But the Corinthians needed to understand that the "lawfulness" of any given behavior was qualified by its "helpfulness". Freedom to act as one pleases is not really freedom at all. It is the most insidious form of bondage."
To edify is to instruct or improve someone morally or intellectually.
The past two years I have been wrestling with the fact that all things are lawful for me. Where do I draw the line of things I wont do? What is my reasoning for drawing that line?
I have friends who run hard and fast away from the Lord, and I think what if I do drugs with them? drink with them? The offer had been presented many times. Had been presented. Turns out, the people who persisted in pressuring me to to join them in drinking or drugs were trying to get me to fall, to sin.
Three questions rise up for me:
Firstly I think, what kind of friends do I really have here?
Second I think why do they want me to fall?
And what If I had joined them?
Pertaining to the first question, these friends are lost. Their actions are just a bi-product of intense searching, self-fullfilling, and yes.. desiring of intimacy with Jesus. Those who know not the Love of Jesus may not consider the endless filling of holes in their life to be a search for Jesus, but indirectly, it will show them that nothing but Jesus can truly save and heal and bring the joys of the Christian Way.
Why would they want me to fall?? These friends are just longing for an even playing field. Their act of hatred was not directed towards me, rather to The Way in general. If I fall, they might not feel as bad "committing the crime", it would be some sort of justification.
What if I had joined them??
I may just have justified their actions. " If Casey the Christian can do it, surely I can."
Or I may have just accidentally proclaimed "The LORD Jesus does not mean as much as I say to me, therefore don't bother getting to know Him."
Possibly I just ripped any hope from them, they already do not believe or know Jesus, everything I do is supposed to point to Him. I am supposed to be the Messenger bringing love and JESUS with me wherever I go. If I do something that hinders this love, where is my true devotion? Even if its just a possibility, the chance is too high of a price.
So now, where do we draw the lines and why?
If you are possibly stripping hope from someones life, do not live dangerously.
Do not do anything to cause anyone else to stumble. If you (who are of age) drink, yet someone else forbids that of them self for reason of it being sin against God, then don't drink. Who after all is your God? Not yourself and not the alcohol!
Consider others ways more righteous than your own, those who abstain from things, and do everything to edify them.
Your liberty (being able to do whatever you want, as a christian) is not affected by another persons conscience. But because of our command to live in love and esteem others higher than ourselves, we must not do things to serve them.
Love and NOT knowledge is the basis of christian conduct.
and Note from my Bible pertaining to 1 Corinthians 6:12
"All things are lawful for me was the theological slogan the Corinthians had adopted to justify their behavior, Paul affirmed his own doctrine of Christian liberty. But the Corinthians needed to understand that the "lawfulness" of any given behavior was qualified by its "helpfulness". Freedom to act as one pleases is not really freedom at all. It is the most insidious form of bondage."
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Dont waste your life
Ive been thinking about how everything really is meaningless. (ecc.)
I really like to wear dresses, pretty flow-y sundresses in particular. I feel so free.. like a bird sort of.. when I wear one.
That wont matter when i'm dead.
I also love my friends, and there are certain ones im particularly fond of!
Wont matter when we're all dead.
The things we spend money on, spend our time doing, spend our time loving, most of it wont matter.
Ive heard it said "Preach Jesus and die. " that pretty much sums up what a meaningful life is.. assuming whoever is preaching is loving and living out what they preach.
And living it out is so much simpler than we make it out to be!!
It occurred to me recently its not some huge task we have to do every day, but in everything we do just do it for someone else.
Driving? Pray for someone. Be a courteous driver... you know when there is a nice guy who gets over just to let you pass or something. Makes my day better!
Got money in the bank? Give it to someone in need
In a public place? Compliment someone, or encourage someone! How about share the love of Jesus with someone!
Idk what other circumstances you live every day.. but lets just be real honest here. If everything you do points to yourself then your life wont count. And it wont matter that it doesnt count. Yay Jesus loves you, but its not about you. And it sure as heck fire aint about me.
We dont remember anyone from 100 years ago, there have been significant moments in the past and people who have molded our society.. but they dont matter.
The only thing that matters is God and His glory. THE only thing.
... I drafted this a few days ago so i could read it later and see if i wanted to post it. I still do... but just wanted to clear up somethings.
Don't belittle the love the Lord has toward you... because that does matter. And you matter to Jesus. Very very much... just not so much to someone you'll never meet. So while on this earth point to the things that will matter so those people you will meet might know and really know the love of Jesus.
I really like to wear dresses, pretty flow-y sundresses in particular. I feel so free.. like a bird sort of.. when I wear one.
That wont matter when i'm dead.
I also love my friends, and there are certain ones im particularly fond of!
Wont matter when we're all dead.
The things we spend money on, spend our time doing, spend our time loving, most of it wont matter.
Ive heard it said "Preach Jesus and die. " that pretty much sums up what a meaningful life is.. assuming whoever is preaching is loving and living out what they preach.
And living it out is so much simpler than we make it out to be!!
It occurred to me recently its not some huge task we have to do every day, but in everything we do just do it for someone else.
Driving? Pray for someone. Be a courteous driver... you know when there is a nice guy who gets over just to let you pass or something. Makes my day better!
Got money in the bank? Give it to someone in need
In a public place? Compliment someone, or encourage someone! How about share the love of Jesus with someone!
Idk what other circumstances you live every day.. but lets just be real honest here. If everything you do points to yourself then your life wont count. And it wont matter that it doesnt count. Yay Jesus loves you, but its not about you. And it sure as heck fire aint about me.
We dont remember anyone from 100 years ago, there have been significant moments in the past and people who have molded our society.. but they dont matter.
The only thing that matters is God and His glory. THE only thing.
... I drafted this a few days ago so i could read it later and see if i wanted to post it. I still do... but just wanted to clear up somethings.
Don't belittle the love the Lord has toward you... because that does matter. And you matter to Jesus. Very very much... just not so much to someone you'll never meet. So while on this earth point to the things that will matter so those people you will meet might know and really know the love of Jesus.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Thankful
I feel the need to write down all the things i'm thankful for... the past few days have been rough on my heart for multiple reasons. A few being, my big mouth gets me into trouble, I have ignored Jesus (Seriously.. how did I manage to ignore my first and foremost person?), and some times relationships don't work out but it's for the better!
BUT...
Lately my family has mended and been getting together so well! I am so thankful for this... tis been a big petition to God. And see, He worked in my heart to where the bitterness receded and I was able to be sweet and generous instead of waiting for them... and it feels so good!
Am I obviously thankful for my friends? My job, school, and family have been first before you guys (at least it's not drugs, shopping, or sports right?) and I miss you! So much! I am thankful for my friends from high school, Taylor, Blaze, Lauren, Erine-Fay, Ashton, Megan and some friends I didn't know as well but still you are dear to me!
Shout out to my new girls, Tracy Jo, Kelly, Taylor R. (who has actually been my cousin for my whole life but we're just now friends), Lauren S, Ensley, Amanda, Rhiannon, Maryam (My awesome roomie!), and Stacers!
There have been a couple of friends who have stuck around since middle school like Sarah Jo and Arianah and we have had some crazy, and boy do I mean crazy times. Heck we went to six flags dressed up as super heros, ie The Bibleteers. haha oh man. I was bird girl, Jo was BUNNY girl hahaha and Arianah was Fish girl. we had masks and a pillow case cape and everything! What a blast! We have been on beach trips and gotton in trouble together, snuck out of our houses together.. scratch that just my house, and made messes together! ( messes of our lives, rooms, ext.)
I moved around a lot and have never really had core friends so each and every one of you mean the world to me!! My prayers revolved around you being in my life for years so every one of you, whether you have been in my life for one season or many you are answered prayers and have inspired, helped improved me, been my confidants, my shoulders, my dance partiers, but most importantly, lovers (in the friendly sense) and will forever be my soul sisters! (Hey soul sister, aint that mister mister on the radio, stereo.. you know you're singing!)
Just for your information, because I tried it, Grape powerade and peanut butter does not go together. YOU should be thankful for the heads up.
Those two are the most important on my list of thankfulness right now, also i'm tired of blogging. I just cycled for 45 min and it was hard core and awesome! Im thankful for working legs! So gotta get ready for work!!
If any of you have any crazy memories of us youre more than welcome to comment!
lastly but not leastly, loves yas!
BUT...
Lately my family has mended and been getting together so well! I am so thankful for this... tis been a big petition to God. And see, He worked in my heart to where the bitterness receded and I was able to be sweet and generous instead of waiting for them... and it feels so good!
Am I obviously thankful for my friends? My job, school, and family have been first before you guys (at least it's not drugs, shopping, or sports right?) and I miss you! So much! I am thankful for my friends from high school, Taylor, Blaze, Lauren, Erine-Fay, Ashton, Megan and some friends I didn't know as well but still you are dear to me!
Shout out to my new girls, Tracy Jo, Kelly, Taylor R. (who has actually been my cousin for my whole life but we're just now friends), Lauren S, Ensley, Amanda, Rhiannon, Maryam (My awesome roomie!), and Stacers!
There have been a couple of friends who have stuck around since middle school like Sarah Jo and Arianah and we have had some crazy, and boy do I mean crazy times. Heck we went to six flags dressed up as super heros, ie The Bibleteers. haha oh man. I was bird girl, Jo was BUNNY girl hahaha and Arianah was Fish girl. we had masks and a pillow case cape and everything! What a blast! We have been on beach trips and gotton in trouble together, snuck out of our houses together.. scratch that just my house, and made messes together! ( messes of our lives, rooms, ext.)
I moved around a lot and have never really had core friends so each and every one of you mean the world to me!! My prayers revolved around you being in my life for years so every one of you, whether you have been in my life for one season or many you are answered prayers and have inspired, helped improved me, been my confidants, my shoulders, my dance partiers, but most importantly, lovers (in the friendly sense) and will forever be my soul sisters! (Hey soul sister, aint that mister mister on the radio, stereo.. you know you're singing!)
Just for your information, because I tried it, Grape powerade and peanut butter does not go together. YOU should be thankful for the heads up.
Those two are the most important on my list of thankfulness right now, also i'm tired of blogging. I just cycled for 45 min and it was hard core and awesome! Im thankful for working legs! So gotta get ready for work!!
If any of you have any crazy memories of us youre more than welcome to comment!
lastly but not leastly, loves yas!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Wish List
Ill add on.. probably not take off.. and if you want to join me on one of these (and I know you) then dont hesitate to plan and surprise me. Seriously, I love surprises.
These include everything I've ever wanted to do and am glad I did (maybe not so glad for all!) or still want to do! Some of these I know I wont ever cross off... but that is part of creating a wish list.
And this is just a wish list. My life is in no way based on doing these things, for I have more important things to spend my time. (Jesus is my commander in Chief.) However, during leisure hour why not.. leise?
1.Go Skydiving. Skydive the Farm, Summer 2010
2. Climb a billboard.
3. Wear Red Lipstick like a pro.
4. Get married to a man I love love love love love.
5. Bungee Jump off a bridge or waterfall.
6. Climb a water tower.
7. Learn To Juggle.
8.Wash my hair with Beer.
9. Have children.
10. Adopt children.
11. Host or attend a Dundees Party. (If you don't know what that is watch The Office, season 3.)
12. Host or attend a similar event to Office Olympics. (Ditto.)
13. Skate backwards.
14. Get kicked out of class. (Not the reason I wanted, but still.) - Feb 14, 2011. UWG
15. Switch to all natural beauty products. (Its definitely possible.)
16. Get old enough to not have to shave my legs anymore. (or use laser technology..)
17. Sell a piece of art to someone who genuinely likes it.
18. Die my hair. (Highlights or all out blonde or red or whatever...)
19. Use ear candles. (Its fun to see gross stuff inside our ears...) May, 2011. (If you try it, don't do it in a closed space. STINKY!)
20. Fly an Airplane. Orlando, Fl. Summer 2005.
21. Work at a youth camp as a counselor. PineCove 2011, 2012
22. Publish something. (Book, song, poem, article, essay..)
23. Build a canoe or kayak with Daddy.
24. Sew a dress and enjoy it.
25. Ride an elephant. (preferably in Africa)
26. Sleep on a warm, secluded beach. (preferably not alone)
27. Get my first kiss. 2005. Backseat of Aunt Donna's Car (next to my cousin Taylor Roberts with Josh Dewberry...shoulda coulda woulda waited...)
28. Learn to play the guitar. Christmas 2005<
29. Be BFF with my sister, Sami.
29. Learn to Salsa Dance. (High Museum w/ Tracy Jo. January 2013.)
30. Show off salsa dancing skills in a latino club.
31. Play guitar and sing a song I like in front of my family and friends all together.
32. Make my Daddy so proud he cries.
33. Road trip with a friend to the beach. (Summer 2010, Spring Break 09, Spring Break 11)
34.See Needtobreathe in concert. Nov. 2012. IT WAS SOOOO GREAT
35. Go to an Opera.
36.Be in a play and know all my lines. (Couldn't really stop laughing...WestSidePlayers Summer 2011)
37. Use only my hands, feet, and hair to paint on a canvas as big as the average american living room floor. (maybe watercolor if my hair is involved..)
38. Catch an oyster and find a pearl.
39. Learn to give a good massage. Not sure when that happened.. but every one is glad it did!
40. Kiss like a movie-star in public with my husband while keeping a straight face. (why yes.. we will get a room!)
44. Write a song using only verses from the Bible.
45. Complete a tri-atholon.
46. See a real life kissing booth. (Those only happen in movies as far as I know.)
47. Fly. (Maybe with the force behind me as a cannon?)
48.Have people laugh hysterically at something I say or do. (Purposefully.) This happens all the time... now. #comedian
49. Visit San Francisco in the Winter.
50. Enjoy Bar-B-Que on a sandbar in the ocean.
51. Watch my husband carve our names in a tree. (I'll probably want to chop it down and take it home, too.)
52. Conquer my fear of being around large bodies of water at night.
53. Own a rocking chair. (I mean OWN it.. not just buy it.)
54. Sleep in the brush in Africa, with the lions and baboons.
55.Make a scrumptious-so-good-you-die dinner.- Feb 8, 2012. Stuffed spinach and mushroom chicken breast topped with a white wine sauce and asparagus on the side.
56. Build a castle out of grapes and toothpicks. 2000(ish). With my Mom and Sister.
60. Learn to whistle.
61. Go on a cruise. (See #52)
62. Almost get arrested. March 19, 2011. Climbed Taco Mac with Hope Howard.
63. Make popcorn from scratch. (That I doubt I'll ever do...)
64. Tat it up.
65. Meet a nose.(Someone who creates the scents and formulas for perfumes..I want to know how they got that job.)
66. Take some pretty pictures in Texas' Blue Bonnet fields.
67. Visit NYC and while there get a hot dog from a street vendor, and see something hilarious or b-e-a-utiful on broadway.
68. Successfully pull off a good, old fashioned prank. April 1, 2011. Froze some hats and toothbrushes. No harm done... the boys of apartment 212 were still really mad.
69. Go on a hot air balloon ride!
70. Skydive with my grandma. (She did it before me... and there isn't exactly an age limit.)
71.
72. Be a Midwife.
73. See a sunset in Abilene, Tx.
74. Dance at Billy Bobs and have a blast getting groovy like country people. (Honkey Tonk Badonkydonk... but not really)
75. Help birth an animal, like a cow or horse or elephant. (I guess they dont really need help. Still think it would be cool. A human would satisfy this wish, as well.)
76. Climb Kennesaw Mountain at night. (Nov. 30th with Bobby Hinsdale. - illegal and cold but gorgeous views!)
77. See Guster in concert. (W/ B.H.)
78. Get my wisdom teeth out. . (Dec 13th. I could hear the dentist cracking my teeth. Isnt that fabulous and wonderful and exciting? #gag)
79.Play on a ropes course at night. (Dec. 7th. w/ B.H.)
**I just re-read some of these posts and might I add that I know some of them are quite ridiculous, which makes them even more worth-while thank you!
These include everything I've ever wanted to do and am glad I did (maybe not so glad for all!) or still want to do! Some of these I know I wont ever cross off... but that is part of creating a wish list.
And this is just a wish list. My life is in no way based on doing these things, for I have more important things to spend my time. (Jesus is my commander in Chief.) However, during leisure hour why not.. leise?
2. Climb a billboard.
3. Wear Red Lipstick like a pro.
4. Get married to a man I love love love love love.
5. Bungee Jump off a bridge or waterfall.
6. Climb a water tower.
7. Learn To Juggle.
8.Wash my hair with Beer.
9. Have children.
10. Adopt children.
11. Host or attend a Dundees Party. (If you don't know what that is watch The Office, season 3.)
12. Host or attend a similar event to Office Olympics. (Ditto.)
13. Skate backwards.
15. Switch to all natural beauty products. (Its definitely possible.)
16. Get old enough to not have to shave my legs anymore. (or use laser technology..)
17. Sell a piece of art to someone who genuinely likes it.
18. Die my hair. (Highlights or all out blonde or red or whatever...)
22. Publish something. (Book, song, poem, article, essay..)
23. Build a canoe or kayak with Daddy.
24. Sew a dress and enjoy it.
25. Ride an elephant. (preferably in Africa)
26. Sleep on a warm, secluded beach. (preferably not alone)
29.
29.
30. Show off salsa dancing skills in a latino club.
31. Play guitar and sing a song I like in front of my family and friends all together.
32. Make my Daddy so proud he cries.
34.
35. Go to an Opera.
36.
37. Use only my hands, feet, and hair to paint on a canvas as big as the average american living room floor. (maybe watercolor if my hair is involved..)
38. Catch an oyster and find a pearl.
40. Kiss like a movie-star in public with my husband while keeping a straight face. (why yes.. we will get a room!)
44. Write a song using only verses from the Bible.
45. Complete a tri-atholon.
46. See a real life kissing booth. (Those only happen in movies as far as I know.)
47. Fly. (Maybe with the force behind me as a cannon?)
48.
49. Visit San Francisco in the Winter.
50. Enjoy Bar-B-Que on a sandbar in the ocean.
51. Watch my husband carve our names in a tree. (I'll probably want to chop it down and take it home, too.)
52. Conquer my fear of being around large bodies of water at night.
53. Own a rocking chair. (I mean OWN it.. not just buy it.)
54. Sleep in the brush in Africa, with the lions and baboons.
55.
60. Learn to whistle.
61. Go on a cruise. (See #52)
63. Make popcorn from scratch. (That I doubt I'll ever do...)
64. Tat it up.
65. Meet a nose.(Someone who creates the scents and formulas for perfumes..I want to know how they got that job.)
66. Take some pretty pictures in Texas' Blue Bonnet fields.
67. Visit NYC and while there get a hot dog from a street vendor, and see something hilarious or b-e-a-utiful on broadway.
69. Go on a hot air balloon ride!
70. Skydive with my grandma. (She did it before me... and there isn't exactly an age limit.)
71.
72. Be a Midwife.
73. See a sunset in Abilene, Tx.
74. Dance at Billy Bobs and have a blast getting groovy like country people. (Honkey Tonk Badonkydonk... but not really)
75. Help birth an animal, like a cow or horse or elephant. (I guess they dont really need help. Still think it would be cool. A human would satisfy this wish, as well.)
76.
77.
78.
79.
**I just re-read some of these posts and might I add that I know some of them are quite ridiculous, which makes them even more worth-while thank you!
It is amazing how writing down feelings, hopes and thoughts releases negative and positive energy. I just finished a post and deleted it because I realized how much it did not make sense, releasing negative feelings concerning myself. Of course it is not as if Jesus played no part in me being closer to peace.
Anyway, I've heard it said that we do not have souls, we ARE souls and we have a body.
Have some fun with this thought! How foreign it is to us! I was driving in my car thinking, this is my body, yet I am alien to it. I'm going to try to help you understand just exactly how it makes me feel... explaining feelings is especially difficult though. Thats why we have words for them, and still everyone is never really sure how you feel when you try to explain deeper.
It feels peaceful, as if you have no attachment to the rest of the earthly world and no matter what happens your security in Christ is more than enough. I think this is where people who die for Christ have found themselves. They are being tortured by every means possible, emotionally, physically, but their peace is overwhelmingly pure. Considering myself as an alien to this world is not a lonely feeling at all, because I realize this is my temporary home and the Lord also places us here before we can enter His kingdom so we have the chance to chose Him. Blessings, hardship, heartbreak, happiness, death, life, everything giving a glimpse of who God is or is not.
Really our bodies are like our cars.. we feed them, take them in for check ups, try to fix them when they are sick and sometimes they just can't be fixed, all the while our souls in the drivers seat, taking this or that turn, stopping here and going there. We care how it looks, want it to be pretty and have a good body. But what really matters is the interior, keep it free of clutter so Jesus can drive and we can ride passenger, room enough in there for the Holy Spirit and God too. Since they are 3 in 1 you KNOW they will take up some room!
haha.. oh me.
Anyway, I've heard it said that we do not have souls, we ARE souls and we have a body.
Have some fun with this thought! How foreign it is to us! I was driving in my car thinking, this is my body, yet I am alien to it. I'm going to try to help you understand just exactly how it makes me feel... explaining feelings is especially difficult though. Thats why we have words for them, and still everyone is never really sure how you feel when you try to explain deeper.
It feels peaceful, as if you have no attachment to the rest of the earthly world and no matter what happens your security in Christ is more than enough. I think this is where people who die for Christ have found themselves. They are being tortured by every means possible, emotionally, physically, but their peace is overwhelmingly pure. Considering myself as an alien to this world is not a lonely feeling at all, because I realize this is my temporary home and the Lord also places us here before we can enter His kingdom so we have the chance to chose Him. Blessings, hardship, heartbreak, happiness, death, life, everything giving a glimpse of who God is or is not.
Really our bodies are like our cars.. we feed them, take them in for check ups, try to fix them when they are sick and sometimes they just can't be fixed, all the while our souls in the drivers seat, taking this or that turn, stopping here and going there. We care how it looks, want it to be pretty and have a good body. But what really matters is the interior, keep it free of clutter so Jesus can drive and we can ride passenger, room enough in there for the Holy Spirit and God too. Since they are 3 in 1 you KNOW they will take up some room!
haha.. oh me.
Monday, February 14, 2011
"Valentimes" Day
My Daddy has the ability to get on my very last nerves, push my temper to the limit, and make me cry. (Either by laughing or by being in trouble..)
But Daddy has always been loving, and every year for valentines day he has been the one giving me roses or chocolates and always big kisses. Literally this year, being my first year ever not waking up at home on valentines day, he gave me a 7 oz Hershey's Kiss.
I'm so glad to have my Dad, to me, this holiday is more about father daughter ties than anything else.
And I'm more than happy to get my phone call from Daddy and visit my grandma, life is more than dates and kisses, so much more! Enjoy it!
But Daddy has always been loving, and every year for valentines day he has been the one giving me roses or chocolates and always big kisses. Literally this year, being my first year ever not waking up at home on valentines day, he gave me a 7 oz Hershey's Kiss.
I'm so glad to have my Dad, to me, this holiday is more about father daughter ties than anything else.
And I'm more than happy to get my phone call from Daddy and visit my grandma, life is more than dates and kisses, so much more! Enjoy it!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Thank the Lord I Saw the Light!
So today is my birthday.. and I have a quarrel with this "birthday celebration"- i'm sure to no ones surprise.
*Being I did absolutely nothing worth celebrating to become born.
My mom and dad really wanted me... at least mom did. Daddy just sort of happened to stick around haha. And mom went painstakingly through 9 months of avoiding anything remotely potentially harmful to me. She quit smoking, did not eat chocolate, drink coffee or anything having any amount of caffeine, i'm not sure if she took medicine, but I know she avoided most of it. Even when she had heartburn, she sucked it up with saltines.
Not to mention 24 hours of labour! Only to need a cesarian section! And one of my top 5 favorite photos of her ever is her right after she gave birth to me... She has always been so gorgeous! Even after sleep deprivation and intense pain.
So why do we celebrate me?
I know I know, you're thinking we celebrate birthdays because we are happy to know them and we love and care and laugh with and enjoy these persons company.
I don't guess I mind being celebrated as long as the due respect and honor goes to our mothers.
You know if pregnancy is that hard, and labour that painful (be a curse as it may), you better live your life like it was WORTH IT. That is worth celebrating!
BTW... I guess it shouldn't or can't go unsaid that it's all about Jesus. Everything. Even dumb little things glorify Him or don't... He loves you enough to give you breath, but there is only life and life to the full in Him.
Thanks for reading my thoughts! Comment with your own skepticism and opinions!
*Being I did absolutely nothing worth celebrating to become born.
My mom and dad really wanted me... at least mom did. Daddy just sort of happened to stick around haha. And mom went painstakingly through 9 months of avoiding anything remotely potentially harmful to me. She quit smoking, did not eat chocolate, drink coffee or anything having any amount of caffeine, i'm not sure if she took medicine, but I know she avoided most of it. Even when she had heartburn, she sucked it up with saltines.
Not to mention 24 hours of labour! Only to need a cesarian section! And one of my top 5 favorite photos of her ever is her right after she gave birth to me... She has always been so gorgeous! Even after sleep deprivation and intense pain.
So why do we celebrate me?
I know I know, you're thinking we celebrate birthdays because we are happy to know them and we love and care and laugh with and enjoy these persons company.
I don't guess I mind being celebrated as long as the due respect and honor goes to our mothers.
You know if pregnancy is that hard, and labour that painful (be a curse as it may), you better live your life like it was WORTH IT. That is worth celebrating!
BTW... I guess it shouldn't or can't go unsaid that it's all about Jesus. Everything. Even dumb little things glorify Him or don't... He loves you enough to give you breath, but there is only life and life to the full in Him.
Thanks for reading my thoughts! Comment with your own skepticism and opinions!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Unceasing
Necessary: Absolutely essential; indispensable; required by obligation, compulsion or convention.
Unceasing: never stopping.
1 Thessalonians 5:17
Pray continually... NIV
Never stop praying... NLT
Pray without ceasing... NASB
Keep on with your prayers...BIB
Pray unceasingly... DBT
I remember one summer when I was reading God's words and talking to Him very near constantly, reading about Jesus and talking to Him became necessary for normal daily living. Needless to say, I had been separated from the outside world in a sense, working out of state, in the mountains, at a camp which resolved to instill a pure love of Jesus in it's employees. I miss it... I miss the dependency I had on talking to Jesus. I miss the devotion I had to reading and desiring.. really desiring to read His written word. It was more than desire... it was as if my life depended on Him. (Which it always does whether I am always considering the fact or not.) Breathing was maybe the only other thing I did so naturally. Maybe eating and other natural habits as well.... I want even eating to take a backseat to the Bible on my journey back to the heart of Jesus.
I feel like this is less like my previous blogs for you, its more of me writing down my personal thoughts and desires in hopes that I might hold myself accountable but also that you might see my heart for what it is. Maybe see you're not alone in your search for truth and devotion to something bigger than yourself... or maybe even to reveal that your perception of Jesus and what He really does is tainted. I want myself to really get this.. really understand.. so badly that Im afraid to come off too determined to you! Half of the things I write about i'm really just trying to learn it and engrave it in myself.
But back to unceasing prayer!
Its so much more than a chore! so so much more! There is a heart in Jesus and talking to Him reveals it to you... (If I knew how that worked, well I guess I would know i'm not really sure what it would do haha)
Jesus' heart.. oh Jesus heart! Heart of my own heart! I can hardly believe He lives in me!
My own love! My savior! My confidant! My companion! My GOD! My King.... my KING!
I can not even stay on the topic of prayer haha.. prayers will come unceasingly when we realize it is the maker of heaven and earth.. the Designer of souls.. the Constant.. the Healer... who is in control! It is only when we yield ourselves willfully (not just willingly.. but a purposeful act.. honestly it may not even be completely willingly) to the Lords ultimate design, to His master plan, to His own heart, that we really grasp prayer is just as important as each breath we take. Prayer is our channel to the Lord of ALL!
Look I know the idea of God can be crazy.. that we can talk to a King who lives in the Heavens and on Earth and in His people... but it is a choice to believe! And Jesus is real! Youre reading about His work now!
If you want to pray with me you can now...
Oh Jesus! My precious Jesus! That you call me yours is no mistake... you chose me to proclaim your name and as your servant I will try! I will dutifully accept your command and desires for my life. God I fall so short.. so short. I can remember sins in the past week, thoughts, actions, even things I did not do which You willed me to do. Oh Jesus, Your cross carries my sin! I am so... just so in debt to you. Help me not give you an IOU but instead give you my everything, even though it will never be enough. Your grace made it possible for me to know you personally... I can't believe it sometimes but God I want to believe it with so much faith that literal mountains could be moved! My Lord... let not this blog be anything but for your Glory. Let it not be about me and let it posses no worldly wisdom. Jesus, be with my readers! I don't know who they all are, if they think I am a fool, or agree with the thoughts You have allowed me to have. Doctor, heal our hearts! Bring us to a place of redemption! Bring us to a place where You are everything and we cease to exist... Bring us to understanding that Your ways are not the ways of a man. Your ways are much higher! I pray you will stir so much passion in their hearts for You and only You! Over sports teams! Over school! Over dreams! Over lovers! Over ourselves!!!!! Let nothing be more lovely than YOU! Jesus, savior of the humble, do Your work here in our hearts. Jesus when I do say foolish things, when I misrepresent You, teach me and mold me. Just do Your WORK! Through Your word and Your people. Whether we love you like we should or not Jesus, because it is possible to be in right heart and mind, whether we acknowledge You are the Christ, oh Jesus there is none like you and none greater. Bring us to You. On our knees weak or hands held high let it all be about you! In hopes of knowing You more and more and more!
Considered Yours...
Unceasing: never stopping.
1 Thessalonians 5:17
Pray continually... NIV
Never stop praying... NLT
Pray without ceasing... NASB
Keep on with your prayers...BIB
Pray unceasingly... DBT
I remember one summer when I was reading God's words and talking to Him very near constantly, reading about Jesus and talking to Him became necessary for normal daily living. Needless to say, I had been separated from the outside world in a sense, working out of state, in the mountains, at a camp which resolved to instill a pure love of Jesus in it's employees. I miss it... I miss the dependency I had on talking to Jesus. I miss the devotion I had to reading and desiring.. really desiring to read His written word. It was more than desire... it was as if my life depended on Him. (Which it always does whether I am always considering the fact or not.) Breathing was maybe the only other thing I did so naturally. Maybe eating and other natural habits as well.... I want even eating to take a backseat to the Bible on my journey back to the heart of Jesus.
I feel like this is less like my previous blogs for you, its more of me writing down my personal thoughts and desires in hopes that I might hold myself accountable but also that you might see my heart for what it is. Maybe see you're not alone in your search for truth and devotion to something bigger than yourself... or maybe even to reveal that your perception of Jesus and what He really does is tainted. I want myself to really get this.. really understand.. so badly that Im afraid to come off too determined to you! Half of the things I write about i'm really just trying to learn it and engrave it in myself.
But back to unceasing prayer!
Its so much more than a chore! so so much more! There is a heart in Jesus and talking to Him reveals it to you... (If I knew how that worked, well I guess I would know i'm not really sure what it would do haha)
Jesus' heart.. oh Jesus heart! Heart of my own heart! I can hardly believe He lives in me!
My own love! My savior! My confidant! My companion! My GOD! My King.... my KING!
I can not even stay on the topic of prayer haha.. prayers will come unceasingly when we realize it is the maker of heaven and earth.. the Designer of souls.. the Constant.. the Healer... who is in control! It is only when we yield ourselves willfully (not just willingly.. but a purposeful act.. honestly it may not even be completely willingly) to the Lords ultimate design, to His master plan, to His own heart, that we really grasp prayer is just as important as each breath we take. Prayer is our channel to the Lord of ALL!
Look I know the idea of God can be crazy.. that we can talk to a King who lives in the Heavens and on Earth and in His people... but it is a choice to believe! And Jesus is real! Youre reading about His work now!
If you want to pray with me you can now...
Oh Jesus! My precious Jesus! That you call me yours is no mistake... you chose me to proclaim your name and as your servant I will try! I will dutifully accept your command and desires for my life. God I fall so short.. so short. I can remember sins in the past week, thoughts, actions, even things I did not do which You willed me to do. Oh Jesus, Your cross carries my sin! I am so... just so in debt to you. Help me not give you an IOU but instead give you my everything, even though it will never be enough. Your grace made it possible for me to know you personally... I can't believe it sometimes but God I want to believe it with so much faith that literal mountains could be moved! My Lord... let not this blog be anything but for your Glory. Let it not be about me and let it posses no worldly wisdom. Jesus, be with my readers! I don't know who they all are, if they think I am a fool, or agree with the thoughts You have allowed me to have. Doctor, heal our hearts! Bring us to a place of redemption! Bring us to a place where You are everything and we cease to exist... Bring us to understanding that Your ways are not the ways of a man. Your ways are much higher! I pray you will stir so much passion in their hearts for You and only You! Over sports teams! Over school! Over dreams! Over lovers! Over ourselves!!!!! Let nothing be more lovely than YOU! Jesus, savior of the humble, do Your work here in our hearts. Jesus when I do say foolish things, when I misrepresent You, teach me and mold me. Just do Your WORK! Through Your word and Your people. Whether we love you like we should or not Jesus, because it is possible to be in right heart and mind, whether we acknowledge You are the Christ, oh Jesus there is none like you and none greater. Bring us to You. On our knees weak or hands held high let it all be about you! In hopes of knowing You more and more and more!
Considered Yours...
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