Looking for Love

I just went through my posts examining where I have been with my tangents on life and hearts and such, and I came across the Tenth Avenue North post.
"Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough"


These questions arose: Do I look for love? Do I think God is not enough to fill my heart up? Do I embrace His love, and love Him back? 


I know I long to be in love with a man. To do the whole marriage thing is on my wish list. But am I distracted by my desire? or is this a good desire? Or maybe its a good desire and im distracted.


Im fully aware of how powerful prayer is. Jesus has transformed/is in the process of transforming my heart and my mind, down to what my core desires are. And at the core of my heart, my desire is not about being wanted by a man. Its not about being needed by kids. Its not even about intimacy with a man through him knowing me inside and out and i the same. 


Its about being confidant that Jesus is caring for me. And its as simple as that. Caring about me enough to use me because He knows I want Him to be proud. Caring about me enough to provide tender mercies and graces. Caring about me enough to show me HE has a plan for me to join Him in Heaven for eternity. 
Those lovey dovey things arent bad by any means. But the things of this world are never what the desire of our heart is, our foundation is not built on things that will pass. 


and though i said "I" and "Me" a lot in this... nothing is about me. Im nothing to this world, if i didnt exist, no one would have missed anything. Everything is so amazingly about Jesus. Even my blessings and good works are about HIM! They point to HIS goodness, not mine. 

Confidence

The Lord gives His people strength, the Lord grants His people security. -Psalm 29:11

Do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised. -Hebrews 10:35-36

Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. All you who hope in the Lord. - Psalm 31:24

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us.- Romans 8:37

He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge, His truth shall be your shield and buckler. -Psalm 91:4

As people we will struggle with confidence. For me, I go over the day in my head and think about the things I did right... or wait... were they right? And what confidence I had during the day, is gone by the time I'm able to think. I think this is one of the reasons Paul instructs us to think on heavenly things, things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. That is powerful. Christ fulfilled His promise, and He is seated at the right hand of God. 

Those verses at the top are life for my heart. Reminders of who I am in Christ. The past few weeks I have felt so unworthy to have attained salvation. Even questioned my own salvation. When my thoughts focus on me ... I will undoubtedly be consumed with confusion, numbness, apathy, sadness, ect. The point of the Cross is that through the High King taking our burdens and sin upon Himself, He might be glorified. 

Hmm..this word is satisfying to me. I pray we will have this satisfaction of really trusting and believing the promises of God. My soul is so weary of trying to fix my own heart. 

Beautiful design, isn't it