Gaining What You Cannot Lose

I'm writing this post in part to encourage myself, and hopefully you will be encouraged as well.

     Okay who has plans. Probably everyone. But lets be honest, who sticks to them? Not I. Either by fault of laziness or they just don't work! Let me tell you where I am at with this. I am restless... It is like I have ants in my pants. (And it really is because my legs are pealing/itchy thanks to tanning so fast over spring break...)
     I am also bored with routine. This boredom leads me to invest in facets of my life otherwise untouched. Wanting things such as: a plan. a new atmosphere. new friends (even though I absolutely adore my current friends!). new place to live. A life-partner (husband). A talent, for praise of people and in part to praise my God. ADVENTURE.

     I worry about making the 10% of students who get accepted to grad school for physical therapy. Are you kidding me? It will have to be VERY divinely inspired for my acceptance because on average my grades are B's and C's. Not the 3.8ish requirement for gpa. again... I have no idea how this will be accomplished. Hard work and dedication sure... but seriously. Crap. But I guess if that girl from Legally Blonde can get into Harvard... It is possible for me to get into Georgia State.

     Also from about thirteen till nineteen I saw myself on the mission field. I'm not as passionate about that at all, at least in going to other countries. I don't know what to tell people anymore. I don't know what to tell myself anymore about what my future is/could/should be.

     It is the strangest feeling to have no direction, or very little.

     What is the coolest thing ever though is that Jesus does not require anything else but that I just love Him. Everything I have strived to accomplish is in vain if i have not loved Him with a devoted love.

     All this to say it doesn't matter what I do with my career, what I do to earn money. Not really. All that matters.. all that matters.. is that I focus on christ and do all I do as if unto Him: that all I do be done as an offering of PRAISE. Not grudgingly working through school, restaurant biz, dating, whatever. It must all be done in praise to mean anything to Jesus. That is hard. Do you know how selfish and grumpy I can be? I can give you a few numbers to call if you want proof.

Also, this invokes a scary as hell prayer onto my heart. "Jesus, do with my life as You please. Let it be glorifying to You, and only You. Also have my heart. Also have my income. Also have my romances. Also have my friends and family. Also kill the 'me' I have created, so the 'me' you have created will exist in harmony with You." Scary but good. So good. The goodness of good.

Do you realize that Jesus doesn't call us to OUR full potential? Do you realize that Jesus allows things to happen that take away arms, legs, friends, family, loves, sight, hearing, any happiness aside from Him? Do you realize that we control no  thing.

"He is no fool who gives what He cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose."


Here's to giving God what we cannot keep.

-Casey