Wednesday, February 23, 2011
It is amazing how writing down feelings, hopes and thoughts releases negative and positive energy. I just finished a post and deleted it because I realized how much it did not make sense, releasing negative feelings concerning myself. Of course it is not as if Jesus played no part in me being closer to peace.
Anyway, I've heard it said that we do not have souls, we ARE souls and we have a body.
Have some fun with this thought! How foreign it is to us! I was driving in my car thinking, this is my body, yet I am alien to it. I'm going to try to help you understand just exactly how it makes me feel... explaining feelings is especially difficult though. Thats why we have words for them, and still everyone is never really sure how you feel when you try to explain deeper.
It feels peaceful, as if you have no attachment to the rest of the earthly world and no matter what happens your security in Christ is more than enough. I think this is where people who die for Christ have found themselves. They are being tortured by every means possible, emotionally, physically, but their peace is overwhelmingly pure. Considering myself as an alien to this world is not a lonely feeling at all, because I realize this is my temporary home and the Lord also places us here before we can enter His kingdom so we have the chance to chose Him. Blessings, hardship, heartbreak, happiness, death, life, everything giving a glimpse of who God is or is not.
Really our bodies are like our cars.. we feed them, take them in for check ups, try to fix them when they are sick and sometimes they just can't be fixed, all the while our souls in the drivers seat, taking this or that turn, stopping here and going there. We care how it looks, want it to be pretty and have a good body. But what really matters is the interior, keep it free of clutter so Jesus can drive and we can ride passenger, room enough in there for the Holy Spirit and God too. Since they are 3 in 1 you KNOW they will take up some room!
haha.. oh me.
Anyway, I've heard it said that we do not have souls, we ARE souls and we have a body.
Have some fun with this thought! How foreign it is to us! I was driving in my car thinking, this is my body, yet I am alien to it. I'm going to try to help you understand just exactly how it makes me feel... explaining feelings is especially difficult though. Thats why we have words for them, and still everyone is never really sure how you feel when you try to explain deeper.
It feels peaceful, as if you have no attachment to the rest of the earthly world and no matter what happens your security in Christ is more than enough. I think this is where people who die for Christ have found themselves. They are being tortured by every means possible, emotionally, physically, but their peace is overwhelmingly pure. Considering myself as an alien to this world is not a lonely feeling at all, because I realize this is my temporary home and the Lord also places us here before we can enter His kingdom so we have the chance to chose Him. Blessings, hardship, heartbreak, happiness, death, life, everything giving a glimpse of who God is or is not.
Really our bodies are like our cars.. we feed them, take them in for check ups, try to fix them when they are sick and sometimes they just can't be fixed, all the while our souls in the drivers seat, taking this or that turn, stopping here and going there. We care how it looks, want it to be pretty and have a good body. But what really matters is the interior, keep it free of clutter so Jesus can drive and we can ride passenger, room enough in there for the Holy Spirit and God too. Since they are 3 in 1 you KNOW they will take up some room!
haha.. oh me.
Monday, February 14, 2011
"Valentimes" Day
My Daddy has the ability to get on my very last nerves, push my temper to the limit, and make me cry. (Either by laughing or by being in trouble..)
But Daddy has always been loving, and every year for valentines day he has been the one giving me roses or chocolates and always big kisses. Literally this year, being my first year ever not waking up at home on valentines day, he gave me a 7 oz Hershey's Kiss.
I'm so glad to have my Dad, to me, this holiday is more about father daughter ties than anything else.
And I'm more than happy to get my phone call from Daddy and visit my grandma, life is more than dates and kisses, so much more! Enjoy it!
But Daddy has always been loving, and every year for valentines day he has been the one giving me roses or chocolates and always big kisses. Literally this year, being my first year ever not waking up at home on valentines day, he gave me a 7 oz Hershey's Kiss.
I'm so glad to have my Dad, to me, this holiday is more about father daughter ties than anything else.
And I'm more than happy to get my phone call from Daddy and visit my grandma, life is more than dates and kisses, so much more! Enjoy it!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Thank the Lord I Saw the Light!
So today is my birthday.. and I have a quarrel with this "birthday celebration"- i'm sure to no ones surprise.
*Being I did absolutely nothing worth celebrating to become born.
My mom and dad really wanted me... at least mom did. Daddy just sort of happened to stick around haha. And mom went painstakingly through 9 months of avoiding anything remotely potentially harmful to me. She quit smoking, did not eat chocolate, drink coffee or anything having any amount of caffeine, i'm not sure if she took medicine, but I know she avoided most of it. Even when she had heartburn, she sucked it up with saltines.
Not to mention 24 hours of labour! Only to need a cesarian section! And one of my top 5 favorite photos of her ever is her right after she gave birth to me... She has always been so gorgeous! Even after sleep deprivation and intense pain.
So why do we celebrate me?
I know I know, you're thinking we celebrate birthdays because we are happy to know them and we love and care and laugh with and enjoy these persons company.
I don't guess I mind being celebrated as long as the due respect and honor goes to our mothers.
You know if pregnancy is that hard, and labour that painful (be a curse as it may), you better live your life like it was WORTH IT. That is worth celebrating!
BTW... I guess it shouldn't or can't go unsaid that it's all about Jesus. Everything. Even dumb little things glorify Him or don't... He loves you enough to give you breath, but there is only life and life to the full in Him.
Thanks for reading my thoughts! Comment with your own skepticism and opinions!
*Being I did absolutely nothing worth celebrating to become born.
My mom and dad really wanted me... at least mom did. Daddy just sort of happened to stick around haha. And mom went painstakingly through 9 months of avoiding anything remotely potentially harmful to me. She quit smoking, did not eat chocolate, drink coffee or anything having any amount of caffeine, i'm not sure if she took medicine, but I know she avoided most of it. Even when she had heartburn, she sucked it up with saltines.
Not to mention 24 hours of labour! Only to need a cesarian section! And one of my top 5 favorite photos of her ever is her right after she gave birth to me... She has always been so gorgeous! Even after sleep deprivation and intense pain.
So why do we celebrate me?
I know I know, you're thinking we celebrate birthdays because we are happy to know them and we love and care and laugh with and enjoy these persons company.
I don't guess I mind being celebrated as long as the due respect and honor goes to our mothers.
You know if pregnancy is that hard, and labour that painful (be a curse as it may), you better live your life like it was WORTH IT. That is worth celebrating!
BTW... I guess it shouldn't or can't go unsaid that it's all about Jesus. Everything. Even dumb little things glorify Him or don't... He loves you enough to give you breath, but there is only life and life to the full in Him.
Thanks for reading my thoughts! Comment with your own skepticism and opinions!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Unceasing
Necessary: Absolutely essential; indispensable; required by obligation, compulsion or convention.
Unceasing: never stopping.
1 Thessalonians 5:17
Pray continually... NIV
Never stop praying... NLT
Pray without ceasing... NASB
Keep on with your prayers...BIB
Pray unceasingly... DBT
I remember one summer when I was reading God's words and talking to Him very near constantly, reading about Jesus and talking to Him became necessary for normal daily living. Needless to say, I had been separated from the outside world in a sense, working out of state, in the mountains, at a camp which resolved to instill a pure love of Jesus in it's employees. I miss it... I miss the dependency I had on talking to Jesus. I miss the devotion I had to reading and desiring.. really desiring to read His written word. It was more than desire... it was as if my life depended on Him. (Which it always does whether I am always considering the fact or not.) Breathing was maybe the only other thing I did so naturally. Maybe eating and other natural habits as well.... I want even eating to take a backseat to the Bible on my journey back to the heart of Jesus.
I feel like this is less like my previous blogs for you, its more of me writing down my personal thoughts and desires in hopes that I might hold myself accountable but also that you might see my heart for what it is. Maybe see you're not alone in your search for truth and devotion to something bigger than yourself... or maybe even to reveal that your perception of Jesus and what He really does is tainted. I want myself to really get this.. really understand.. so badly that Im afraid to come off too determined to you! Half of the things I write about i'm really just trying to learn it and engrave it in myself.
But back to unceasing prayer!
Its so much more than a chore! so so much more! There is a heart in Jesus and talking to Him reveals it to you... (If I knew how that worked, well I guess I would know i'm not really sure what it would do haha)
Jesus' heart.. oh Jesus heart! Heart of my own heart! I can hardly believe He lives in me!
My own love! My savior! My confidant! My companion! My GOD! My King.... my KING!
I can not even stay on the topic of prayer haha.. prayers will come unceasingly when we realize it is the maker of heaven and earth.. the Designer of souls.. the Constant.. the Healer... who is in control! It is only when we yield ourselves willfully (not just willingly.. but a purposeful act.. honestly it may not even be completely willingly) to the Lords ultimate design, to His master plan, to His own heart, that we really grasp prayer is just as important as each breath we take. Prayer is our channel to the Lord of ALL!
Look I know the idea of God can be crazy.. that we can talk to a King who lives in the Heavens and on Earth and in His people... but it is a choice to believe! And Jesus is real! Youre reading about His work now!
If you want to pray with me you can now...
Oh Jesus! My precious Jesus! That you call me yours is no mistake... you chose me to proclaim your name and as your servant I will try! I will dutifully accept your command and desires for my life. God I fall so short.. so short. I can remember sins in the past week, thoughts, actions, even things I did not do which You willed me to do. Oh Jesus, Your cross carries my sin! I am so... just so in debt to you. Help me not give you an IOU but instead give you my everything, even though it will never be enough. Your grace made it possible for me to know you personally... I can't believe it sometimes but God I want to believe it with so much faith that literal mountains could be moved! My Lord... let not this blog be anything but for your Glory. Let it not be about me and let it posses no worldly wisdom. Jesus, be with my readers! I don't know who they all are, if they think I am a fool, or agree with the thoughts You have allowed me to have. Doctor, heal our hearts! Bring us to a place of redemption! Bring us to a place where You are everything and we cease to exist... Bring us to understanding that Your ways are not the ways of a man. Your ways are much higher! I pray you will stir so much passion in their hearts for You and only You! Over sports teams! Over school! Over dreams! Over lovers! Over ourselves!!!!! Let nothing be more lovely than YOU! Jesus, savior of the humble, do Your work here in our hearts. Jesus when I do say foolish things, when I misrepresent You, teach me and mold me. Just do Your WORK! Through Your word and Your people. Whether we love you like we should or not Jesus, because it is possible to be in right heart and mind, whether we acknowledge You are the Christ, oh Jesus there is none like you and none greater. Bring us to You. On our knees weak or hands held high let it all be about you! In hopes of knowing You more and more and more!
Considered Yours...
Unceasing: never stopping.
1 Thessalonians 5:17
Pray continually... NIV
Never stop praying... NLT
Pray without ceasing... NASB
Keep on with your prayers...BIB
Pray unceasingly... DBT
I remember one summer when I was reading God's words and talking to Him very near constantly, reading about Jesus and talking to Him became necessary for normal daily living. Needless to say, I had been separated from the outside world in a sense, working out of state, in the mountains, at a camp which resolved to instill a pure love of Jesus in it's employees. I miss it... I miss the dependency I had on talking to Jesus. I miss the devotion I had to reading and desiring.. really desiring to read His written word. It was more than desire... it was as if my life depended on Him. (Which it always does whether I am always considering the fact or not.) Breathing was maybe the only other thing I did so naturally. Maybe eating and other natural habits as well.... I want even eating to take a backseat to the Bible on my journey back to the heart of Jesus.
I feel like this is less like my previous blogs for you, its more of me writing down my personal thoughts and desires in hopes that I might hold myself accountable but also that you might see my heart for what it is. Maybe see you're not alone in your search for truth and devotion to something bigger than yourself... or maybe even to reveal that your perception of Jesus and what He really does is tainted. I want myself to really get this.. really understand.. so badly that Im afraid to come off too determined to you! Half of the things I write about i'm really just trying to learn it and engrave it in myself.
But back to unceasing prayer!
Its so much more than a chore! so so much more! There is a heart in Jesus and talking to Him reveals it to you... (If I knew how that worked, well I guess I would know i'm not really sure what it would do haha)
Jesus' heart.. oh Jesus heart! Heart of my own heart! I can hardly believe He lives in me!
My own love! My savior! My confidant! My companion! My GOD! My King.... my KING!
I can not even stay on the topic of prayer haha.. prayers will come unceasingly when we realize it is the maker of heaven and earth.. the Designer of souls.. the Constant.. the Healer... who is in control! It is only when we yield ourselves willfully (not just willingly.. but a purposeful act.. honestly it may not even be completely willingly) to the Lords ultimate design, to His master plan, to His own heart, that we really grasp prayer is just as important as each breath we take. Prayer is our channel to the Lord of ALL!
Look I know the idea of God can be crazy.. that we can talk to a King who lives in the Heavens and on Earth and in His people... but it is a choice to believe! And Jesus is real! Youre reading about His work now!
If you want to pray with me you can now...
Oh Jesus! My precious Jesus! That you call me yours is no mistake... you chose me to proclaim your name and as your servant I will try! I will dutifully accept your command and desires for my life. God I fall so short.. so short. I can remember sins in the past week, thoughts, actions, even things I did not do which You willed me to do. Oh Jesus, Your cross carries my sin! I am so... just so in debt to you. Help me not give you an IOU but instead give you my everything, even though it will never be enough. Your grace made it possible for me to know you personally... I can't believe it sometimes but God I want to believe it with so much faith that literal mountains could be moved! My Lord... let not this blog be anything but for your Glory. Let it not be about me and let it posses no worldly wisdom. Jesus, be with my readers! I don't know who they all are, if they think I am a fool, or agree with the thoughts You have allowed me to have. Doctor, heal our hearts! Bring us to a place of redemption! Bring us to a place where You are everything and we cease to exist... Bring us to understanding that Your ways are not the ways of a man. Your ways are much higher! I pray you will stir so much passion in their hearts for You and only You! Over sports teams! Over school! Over dreams! Over lovers! Over ourselves!!!!! Let nothing be more lovely than YOU! Jesus, savior of the humble, do Your work here in our hearts. Jesus when I do say foolish things, when I misrepresent You, teach me and mold me. Just do Your WORK! Through Your word and Your people. Whether we love you like we should or not Jesus, because it is possible to be in right heart and mind, whether we acknowledge You are the Christ, oh Jesus there is none like you and none greater. Bring us to You. On our knees weak or hands held high let it all be about you! In hopes of knowing You more and more and more!
Considered Yours...
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Running
If we only ran when we felt like it, we would never get in shape.
If we only witnessed when we felt like it, too many people would never hear the gospel.
And note that sharing our faith is not just about getting people saved, that is a very beautiful by product; it is about showing God we are devoted and thereby showing people it is of great importance.
If we only witnessed when we felt like it, too many people would never hear the gospel.
And note that sharing our faith is not just about getting people saved, that is a very beautiful by product; it is about showing God we are devoted and thereby showing people it is of great importance.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
BE.
My hearts desires have changed so much since ... well as I grow up. As a little girl I dreamed.. just dreamed of being anything, I never really new what, I just knew I would BE. In middle school I was so wrapped up in natures beauty and beautiful things (even though I did not live it or really seek a relationship with Jesus). I wanted to claim myself to something HUGE, something meaningful and full of life. I had two dreams, being a missionary and being an astronaut. Im still going to be a missionary, which is not so much a placement on earth, although it may be, but mostly just making sure I act on God's whims and talk to His people.
I had other dreams too, being a teacher probably the most lingering. Not just any teacher, I wanted to be there for students.. not just see them and joke with them but reach out and really BE there. There is so much power in BEING.... we take being where we are, being with whoever we are, doing whatever we are doing for such granted!
One thing I know for sure though, all my life.. ALL of my life.. during every minute there has always been an underlying tone of waiting for something else to happen.
I remember being in 5th grade telling a friend how it would be forever till I made it to high school, or dare I even think... College!
The boyfriends I had, always hoping for an engagement, marriage, sex, babies..
As a lover of Jesus! Hoping for a future with HIM in heaven and to be made perfect!
Im not saying its not healthy to desire these things, these are beautiful and wonderful things! It can even be fun and God glorifying to anticipate gifts from Him and heavenly things! but it is NOT healthy to miss out on what we already live in! Over the past year I have really learned to live in the moment. Well.. I mean I still have a long way to go for sure! But Im able to drink in the times I'm reading Jesus' word.. licking the deliciousness off of my fingers when I spend time with people I love and care about!
And I know it is cheesy to say it like that... licking the deliciousness off my fingers... I just mean to say there is so much pleasure in knowing the people I do! It IS comparable to digging into a chocolate cake with 5 different kinds of chocolate... sometimes it's messy but its always just so good! And its not that chocolate is even comparable to the people I cherish, however good food is symbolic to great pleasure so I figured it would work! (Because good food can definitely be overrated..)
Just imaging being parched, reaching for life and life to the full! The only way to know this life is to know Jesus.. not just believe. Heck... everyone believes in Him. There are more credible documents ( by atheists even) pointing to Jesus' existence and miracles than there are about Tiberious Cesar or Plato.. If anyone doesn't believe in Jesus they are a fool! The key to being a lover of Jesus, a disciple of Jesus, is not just believing in Him.. duh..!
and all this comes from me knowing that all I have is right now! I'm learning to just BE.
"My greatest regret is believing so much in the future..."
Tomorrow is not promised to you, do yourself a favor and do not worry about what it could bring... sip on the joys of today like you would a good hot chocolate. YUM!
I had other dreams too, being a teacher probably the most lingering. Not just any teacher, I wanted to be there for students.. not just see them and joke with them but reach out and really BE there. There is so much power in BEING.... we take being where we are, being with whoever we are, doing whatever we are doing for such granted!
One thing I know for sure though, all my life.. ALL of my life.. during every minute there has always been an underlying tone of waiting for something else to happen.
I remember being in 5th grade telling a friend how it would be forever till I made it to high school, or dare I even think... College!
The boyfriends I had, always hoping for an engagement, marriage, sex, babies..
As a lover of Jesus! Hoping for a future with HIM in heaven and to be made perfect!
Im not saying its not healthy to desire these things, these are beautiful and wonderful things! It can even be fun and God glorifying to anticipate gifts from Him and heavenly things! but it is NOT healthy to miss out on what we already live in! Over the past year I have really learned to live in the moment. Well.. I mean I still have a long way to go for sure! But Im able to drink in the times I'm reading Jesus' word.. licking the deliciousness off of my fingers when I spend time with people I love and care about!
And I know it is cheesy to say it like that... licking the deliciousness off my fingers... I just mean to say there is so much pleasure in knowing the people I do! It IS comparable to digging into a chocolate cake with 5 different kinds of chocolate... sometimes it's messy but its always just so good! And its not that chocolate is even comparable to the people I cherish, however good food is symbolic to great pleasure so I figured it would work! (Because good food can definitely be overrated..)
Just imaging being parched, reaching for life and life to the full! The only way to know this life is to know Jesus.. not just believe. Heck... everyone believes in Him. There are more credible documents ( by atheists even) pointing to Jesus' existence and miracles than there are about Tiberious Cesar or Plato.. If anyone doesn't believe in Jesus they are a fool! The key to being a lover of Jesus, a disciple of Jesus, is not just believing in Him.. duh..!
and all this comes from me knowing that all I have is right now! I'm learning to just BE.
"My greatest regret is believing so much in the future..."
Tomorrow is not promised to you, do yourself a favor and do not worry about what it could bring... sip on the joys of today like you would a good hot chocolate. YUM!
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